Searching for a restaurant job = Craigslist. I really don’t understand how people got jobs before Craigslist, and fuck, I can’t even fathom a job hunt before the internet. Newspapers? Phone calls instead of emails? Gah! The past was a scary time, my friends.
During my unemployment in the past 5 months, Craigslist and I have become great frienemies. Craigslist makes it possible to remain lazy and nocturnal while job hunting, and provides listings for an abundance of available jobs. Yet, I want to strangle every person who posts an ad. Typically, Craigslist restaurant ads can be categorized as one of three types:
Type 1: The Mystery Ad
We are an establishment. We might be a restaurant, or a bar, or a restaurant-bar. We may or may not mention what neighborhood we’re located in, but we’re certainly not giving you the name or address of our establishment. Please email all highly sensitive, personal information. We may or may not respond. We may or may not steal your identity.
Type 2: The Semi-Mystery Ad
We are also an establishment. Unlike mystery ads, we’ll give you the address of our establishment, but never mention the name. We do this for unknown reasons. Perhaps we are afraid of the internet. Perhaps we don’t understand the internet. Perhaps we want you to take that extra time to prove your dedication. That extra 2.4 nanoseconds it takes to match our address with the name of an establishment via the internet. Come to the address listed with your resume.
Type 3: The Straightforward Ad
We are such-n-such restaurant. We demand a lot. Not just a lot, but everything. You must be available 24 hours a day and be superhuman. Please send your resume and cover letter so we can laugh at you and never respond.
All of these ads are up to no good. None are above severe typos. None sound like someone of any intelligence posted them. None appear to be places anyone would like to work.
Despite the degrading manner of this process, I send out resumes in response to all of these types of ads. To cope with the pain, I try to convince myself that maybe just one of my emails will actually reach another human being. The outcome is dismal, yet, I trudge on.
Hit the pavement, Cheer. Craigslist is pretty effing useless.
I’ve been on the pavement. Pavement probably deserves its own entry here (Unemployment: The Pavement). Craigslist is where I’ve gotten all my restaurant jobs, including the new joint.
Why is the third one so terrible? Where is the severe typo?
You should post a quality ad…. do they exist?
The third one is terrible because you can’t be good enough for it, no matter how good you are. I could post more ads exemplifying the typo occurrences, but I thought one example would suffice. There is no such thing as a quality ad – that’s the whole point of this entry.
PS Thanks for coming all the way out here. I know it’s a long journey from FB.
so i say… screw you. because i write those ads. and i have to meet the people that follows those ads. and when i sit down to write a servers-wanted ad i start to think about the FREAKISH people I will meet. the people who will sit down in front of me and say will bright starry eyed conviction that they are “PASSIONATE ABOUT THEATRE AND ACTING”. and i wonder how exactly to remind them that they are at a restaurant applying for a job. the people who respond to the question “how is you food and wine knowledge” with “oh, i’d say average… not great.” and think that that answer will get them a job.
and then i write a craigslist post and i already want to take a fork to my own eyeballs. so i write shitty craigslist ads.
but i love you cheer & miss you and wish you would answer my craigslist ad!
Katie, why oh why are you writing restaurant CL ads? You should guest blog about your room temperature IQ applicants. Hilarious.
I would love to :) LA’s applicant pool amuses me to no end (no offense to your sister… who’s sommelier I met the other day and adores her).