Party size: 6

Customers: Boring old people with a lot of money who may or may not actually like each other. 3 dudes 3 wives.

Same old bullshit with this table until I was taking their dessert orders. As I circled the table jotting down what type of refined sugar and fat each guest would like, and in what format they would most appreciate their coffees, I came to a woman.

Cheer: “What would you like for dessert?”

Woman: “De nada.”

Cheer furrows her brow in confusion. Woman notices Cheer’s perplexed look and scoffs.

Woman: “De nada. It means nothing. I don’t want anything.”

Because I have taken more than one Spanish class, I know that ‘de nada’ literally means ‘of nothing’ and is how to say ‘you’re welcome,’ and ‘nada’ alone means ‘nothing.’ So, I asked the woman what she’d like for dessert and she responded ‘you’re welcome.’ I contemplated correcting her language error. After a moment of pause, I decided I didn’t like the scoffy-McScofferson woman and decided to leave her to drown in her own ignorance. Nothing is quite as sweet as letting someone who treats you as an ignorant servant brazenly display her own ignorance for all the world to see.