Cheer and three friends stand outside a karaoke bar smoking. A suit exits the bar and asks for a cigarette.
Cheer: “What’s your name, Suit?
Suit: “Sterling.”
Cheer raises one eyebrow: “Sterling? Really?”
Sterling: “Yes. What’s your name?”
Cheer: “Cheer—a totally common name. But your name’s not fucking Sterling. What’s your real name?”
Sterling: “It really is Sterling.”
Sterling pulls out his license. Within the 9 seconds it takes him to get it from his wallet, Cheer has forgotten why he is showing it to her, due to her didn’t-eat-dinner level of intoxication. Completely ignoring his name, age and other interesting secrets available on a license, Cheer’s drunken vision allows her only to see that it is a California license.
Cheer: “You’re from California?! No one else in the whole world is from California! This is a totally unique encounter! Let’s have a bonding moment and talk about which cities we used to live in. My blood alcohol content has nothing to do with my overexcitement about your previous residency in a state where I also used to reside.”
Sterling: “I accept your conversation offer.”
Cheer: “I’m done caring that you’re from California. What do you do in New York? Why on earth are you wearing a full suit?”
Sterling: “I’m an investment banker.”
Cheer: “How’s that workin’ out for ya?”
Sterling: “It’s crap. I’m the lowliest of the peons, with no real drive to climb the ladder. My father put me in this suit. I hate my life.”
Cheer: “Well, Sterling, you need to losen up. You need to have some fun! Get this fucking tie off and unbutton this top button. If you’re going to wear a suit in a karaoke bar, you have to mess it up a bit.”
While saying these things, Cheer losens Sterling’s tie and unbuttons his top button. This is a grand mistake.
Sterling: “Women don’t pay attention to me, let alone engage me in conversation and take my clothes off. I think I’m in love.”
Cheer: “That’s cute. Good talk. See ya later.”
Cheer and her friends finish smoking and go back inside, leaving Sterling to continue on his initial course away from the bar and toward his apartment. But Sterling follows them back into the bar.
Sterling: “I’m still here. I’m going to stand near you awkwardly and hope you talk to me again.”
Cheer: “OK, but if you’re staying, you’ve got to sing.”
Cheer proceeds to pick out a song for him. She scratches down “Hit Me Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears and hands Sterling the paper to hand in to enter the queue. Sterling holds the paper but stays with Cheer.
Sterling: “The fact that you started to remove my clothing has made me grow a small pair. I’ll now lean in close to your face and ask you to leave the bar with me to get a drink somewhere else.”
Cheer: “I’m beginning to see the error of my ways. I’m sorry, but I’m a terrible flirt and I have no intention of sleeping with you. I’m not leaving.”
Sterling: “OK, well, I’m going home then.”
Sterling throws Cheer an it’s-your-last-chance-to-keep-me-around look.
Cheer: “OK. Bye!”
He leaves.
A short while later, while standing in line for the bathroom, Cheer sees Sterling.
Cheer: “You’re still here? I thought you left!”
Sterling: “I pretended to leave so you’d realize how much you wanted me, and pounce on me upon my return.”
Cheer: “You have bad ideas.”
Cheer goes into the bathroom. Upon returning to the corner where her friends are, she sees Sterling on a couch across from her. She doesn’t pay him any mind and dances with her friend. Sterling approaches Cheer. He tries not so much to dance, but just to be near Cheer dancing. He leans toward Cheer as if to kiss her. She dodges his advance and runs screaming into the arms of her female companion.
Sterling: “I’m leaving.”
Cheer: “I’m totally OK with that.”
Sterling leaves.
A half hour passes and Cheer and her friend begin singing “Like A Virgin” by Madonna. After singing just a few lines, Sterling appears—again. He hands Cheer a tiny bouquet of flowers. Cheer begins to wonder if enough alcohol can lead to hallucinations. Continuing to sing, she places the flowers into Sterling’s losened, but still knotted tie. She avoids eye contact. The song ends.
Sterling: “Here, you dropped these in my tie.”
Cheer: “Yeah, about that… I’m sorry but I cannot accept those flowers.”
Sterling: “Why not?”
Cheer: “’Cause you’re really creeping me out.”
Sterling: “Isn’t that what girls want?”
Cheer: “Oh, dear. I’m going to blatantly lie to you now, hoping that it’s enough to drive you away for real this time, and make you forget I ever losened your tie.”
Sterling: “Like 9/11, I’ll never forget.”
Cheer: “See that guy over there? The one I was standing outside with?”
Cheer points to her friend-of-a-friend flirting companion for the evening, whom she met only hours earlier.
Sterling: “The guy who’s with your other friends, who gave me the don’t-choo-be-mackin’-this-girl-is-mine look earlier?”
Cheer: “Yes. That one. He’s my boyfriend.”
Sterling pushes the flowers toward Cheer.
Cheer: “Boyfriend. He’s my boyfriend. I cannot accept the flowers.”
Sterling: “I could be your boyfriend.”
Cheer: “No. No. A whole lotta no.”
Sterling: “I accept defeat. I’m leaving again with my tiny flowers. Goodbye.”
Cheer is convinced Sterling would appear again, but his baby bouquet and bruised ego weren’t seen again.