Monday:

Customer: “How’s the osso buco?”

Cheer: “It’s really quite nice. Have you had pork osso buco before?”

Customer: “Yes. Is it veal?”

Tuesday:

Customer: “I’m thinking of ordering the pork osso buco.”

Cheer: “Okay.”

Customer: “Is it turkey?”

Cheer: “Your stupidity makes me want to cry. Yes. It’s a pork-turkey osso buco.”

Customer: “Excellent. I’ll have that.”

Wednesday:

Customer: “Tell me about the osso buco.”

Cheer: “Well, our osso buco is pork and it’s wonderful. It’s served with the classic preparation and is one of our most popular entrées.”

Customer: “So, it’s not veal?”

Cheer: “No. It’s pork.”

Customer: “But osso buco is supposed to be made with veal.”

Cheer: “Osso buco is usually made with veal, yes.”

Customer: “So, why do you call it osso buco if it’s not veal?”

Cheer: “Just to piss you off.”

Customer: “That’s what I thought.”

Thursday:

Cheer: “What would you like for your entrée?”

Customer: “The osso buco.”

Cheer: “Great.”

-20 minutes later-

Cheer: “Careful, this plate is hot.”

Customer: “What’s this?”

Cheer: “Osso buco.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Cheer: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “It doesn’t look like osso buco.”

Cheer: “Oh. That’s because you can’t read.”

Customer: “What?!”

Cheer: “The menu clearly states PORK OSSO BUCO, but you were expecting veal.”

Customer: “Yes, yes I was.”

Cheer: “Sucks to be you.”

Customer: “Yes, yes it does.”

Cheer: “Maybe you should learn to read. Literacy is pretty helpful in life.”

Customer: “I’ll just bow my head in shame and eat something I didn’t want cause I’m a lame-ass who can’t read.”

Cheer: “Enjoy!”

Friday:

Customer: “Can we split the osso buco?”

Cheer: “Sure. I’ll bring you an extra plate, because I’m just such a nice person.”

Customer: “Well, do you think they could split if for us in the kitchen?”

Cheer: “No.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Cheer: “Because there’s only one shank.”

Customer: “So…why can’t they split it?”

Cheer: “Did you ride the short bus to school?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Cheer: “Good to know who I’m dealing with.”

Customer: “So…the kitchen doesn’t like splitting entrées?”

Cheer: “No, the kitchen doesn’t have a bone saw.”

Customer: “I don’t get it.”

Cheer: “Obviously.”