Man: “I’d like the foie gras appetizer, but I can’t have any butter or cream. Can it be made without dairy?”
Cheer: “I’ll check with the chef and see.”
Man: “Thanks.”
Cheer: “What would you like for your entrée?”
Man: “Well, I’m interested in the pork, but again, I can’t have any dairy. Can we make a substiution to avoid any dairy in the grits?”
Cheer: “Sure. We can give you extra vegetables or french fries.”
Man: “Fries sound great. Thanks so much.”
Cheer: “OK. So, we’ll start you with a dairy-free foie gras if possible, followed by a dairy-less pork—no grits, sub fries. To finish up your pre-fixe menu ordering, what would you like for your dessert?”
Man: “The cheese plate.”
Cheer: “It’s not wise to fuck with the people who handle your food.”